And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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