May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
