Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
