Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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