i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
