escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize