he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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