before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
