Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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