K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
