i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
