therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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