Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
