I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
