so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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