I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
