Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
