If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
