Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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