So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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