Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
