i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
