Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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