Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
