was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
