You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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