you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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