You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
