Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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