New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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