Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
