i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
