does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hippo gnu deer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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