I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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