You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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