Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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