Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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