what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
