how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
