There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
