I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
