"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
