Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
