i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I didn't notice because vodka
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
