There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Randomize