a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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