you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
