she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
