So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
