worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
