I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
