oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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