I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
