standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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