this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
