I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
