just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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