dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ugly people sure do ruin things
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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