the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
All the doctor said was why
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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