We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
