MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You are a genius and a whore.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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