Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
